Interesting Thought

Over the last couple of days, I have been thinking about what I wanted to post about and what words I should use to describe my life. Over the last couple of months there has been a song, that every time I hear it, I think about my struggles with infertility. I highly recommend downloaded this song on ITUNES if you haven't heard it, but for now here is a quick excerpt...

"I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. Chorus: And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold me in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm..."

You see with every step that Paul and I go through for infertility, I always think the Lord will bless us, He will bless us with a child and it will be this time...and every time so far, He has not blessed us with a child, but I know that there is hope because one day He will bless us with a child, whether it's one I give birth to or one that falls into our lap. Last week I talked about going to the doctor and my nervous feelings. You see I prayed for the Lord to shut the door in our face, if it wasn't the time to do IVF again. I prayed so hard because I really want our pregnancy to happen in His timing, and if He had other plans for us right now, I wanted to be discouraged from pursuing IVF right now. Well as you know from last week, our doctor said ok, you look great, let's move forward, once you start your period we will start birth control again and move on. Well I was ecstatic, it's exactly what I wanted to hear, especially since I was day 27 when we were at the doctor. I thought to myself, Lord, you did hear my prayer, and this is Your will so thank you for answering me. You see, I have struggled with hearing my prayers answered. I know that God always answers, but it's not always been what I wanted to hear, this time I knew it was...and then my period was late...day 29...day 30 "Paul do you think we should take a test?"...negative...day 31...calling the doctor...day 32...oh wait a spot of blood, thank you we can start now...nope...progesterone shot to try and help jump start the flow...day 33...day 34...seriously...day 35...should I take another test?...day 36...AT LAST....It started. You see God revealed to me during this time, that although He heard my prayer, the answer I thought I got from the doctor was true, but see His timing wasn't yet, and for the first time in a long time, the only reason I wanted my period to start was so that I wouldn't bite my husband's head off anymore b/c I knew God was doing exactly what He had planned, and though it pushed IVF back an extra week, I will praise God, for the loving and gracious God that He is, so for now I want all of you to know that I WILL PRAISE HIM IN THIS STORM!

Samantha