Motherly Love

Sometimes I wonder what kind of mother I am, I wonder if when I am old, my boys will want to take care of me, like I do for them day in and day out. That thought has led me to write these random thoughts.

I recently started reading a book called "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic. I was given the book by my good friend, Barbie, and I am so glad she did. One chapter in the book is a discussion on Me Time and in it discusses your body after children. It is no secret that I have struggled with losing baby weight since Sam. It was hard for me to accept the fact that until I stop nursing, and truly have my body to myself, my weight is just what it is. By reading that specific chapter, Jankovic, who has 5 children under the age of 5 (when written), she gave me the most encouraging words that anyone could. In her book she writes "Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work. One of the greatest testimonies Christian women can have in our world today is the testimony of joyfully giving your body to another." Although I feel very blessed to have been able to get pregnant and breastfeed, I have blamed my outward appearance on pregnancy and breastfeeding. The "joyfully giving" was lacking on my part until reading this book. Now don't get me wrong I love being pregnant and knowing the my child gets all he needs from me alone, but the side effects I have not loved. Jankovic, has changed my perspective. Yes my clothes are probably a little too tight but by golly Eli needs me, I was given the ability to breastfeed and I am going to happily give it over to him and any future children as well. To think that I have some glimpse of being Christ like by carrying children and nursing is just a whole new perspective. I still have a lot more room to improve but knowing that a simple attitude change brought me one step closer has blown my mind. I hope my children will know how much I love them and the joy they gave me when they were just flutters in my belly to snuggling to my chest.

A mother's love is much greater than just a pregnancy and nursing. A mother's love is something that I think we often find it hard to express. It starts from trying to meet their needs from feeding to clean diapers. It further grows to trying to fix the problems that cause the tears to fall. It is punishing your child even when it is killing you to do so. It's teaching them the Word of God an being an example of a Godly Woman. A mother's love is giving a hug or a kiss just because. I am blessed with a wonderful Mother. She is so loving and caring for each of my sisters and myself. She cries with us and rejoices too. She is an ear with a toolbag, ready to try and fix our pain. She has held my hand when there were no answers to be found. She is my best friend and to me that is what love is all about.