Easter Celebration

Happy Easter! I hope everyone has had a great day! This past week "Holy Week" has really struck my attention more than ever. I just think about Jesus and the sacrifice He made for us all...and I am just awestruck. This year the verses that really spoke to me were Mark 11:8-10. My prayer for the rest of 2009 is to always shout "Hosanna, blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord..." I pray that I do not stray in my faith like some of the diciples, but continue to grow in it, not deny my faith but exclaim it! I pray that my marriage will continue to grow with God over the next year as well as my own soul. I catch myself all the time thinking I am focusing on God and developing a strong personal relationship through study and prayer and knowing in the end I am still trying to control it. This Easter I can truly say that my heart was focused on the gift I received from Jesus' death and Resurrection. I pray everyday I will continue to keep that focus.

On a different note, I am mad today (I know that seems like a contradiction to the above statement), but I am mad...that's all there is to it. I cannot understand why God does the things He does. I cannot understand why I cannot get pregnant, I truly can't. I know that it's not for me to understand, but as I sit here and type with bad PMS, I am just frustrated. I have always wanted to control every part of my life, but I can't control this...and it's HARD. You would think after almost 2 years of trying I would get use to starting my period, but I don't...it just becomes harder. I know that God is in control, and I should trust that He will make the right decisions, but sometimes I like to think my decision to get pregnant a year ago would have been better. I know I must trust in Him and I try everyday to do just that. Over the next week, I will start the process for our first IVF cycle. It will take roughly two months before we will know the result. Paul and I have been doing some talking and had to make difficult decisions regarding this treatment. We feel this is the best option for us at this time. I am excited about the opportunity, but I am also mad that I have to go through it. I will do weeks of injections and blood work. Lots of visits to the DR all in hope of a miracle. Please pray for us over the next two months that we will be accepting of whatever the outcome.

1 week until Jennifer's wedding. I can't wait! I am looking forward to seeing my family, some that I have not seen in almost 4 years. More pictures and posts to come...

Today I got to play with the Jessup family (my sister Michelle's family). I loved having the Easter egg hunt with Faith and Brayden and getting to talk with Michelle. Alot of the time when I go to Decatur I don't get to actually talk with Michelle and Jerry, but I was glad to actually have adult conversation with them. I hope over the next week, we will be able to do more as I spend time helping prepare for the wedding.

I love you all and thank you for listening.