Today I am 37 weeks pregnant and it is exciting to know that Eli is full term and unlikely to have to spend any time in the NICU (we pray that he doesn't at least). As my due date approaches, I have become more nervous and scared. When we first found out that I was pregnant back in September, we were BEYOND thrilled (don't take this as I am not excited because I am VERY excited about Eli). I have always considered myself "strong" and knew that having two children 19 months apart would be hard but I knew that I could do it and I thanked God for giving me the opportunity after everything we went through with getting pregnant with Sam. I am now singing another tune. Maybe it is the hormones and the unknown approaching or maybe it is God telling me that I am right I can't do it on my own but He can and will help me through it. I pray it is the latter. I pray for help in parenting about a gazillion times a day because Sam can test me like no other. He isn't doing anything other than being an 18 month boy but I told Paul yesterday that I am mentally and physically spent at this point. I feel guilty because in the afternoon all I want to do is lay in bed and stay off my feet and he wants to go go go and so I think how am I going to do this with two kids if I can't handle just one or give him what he needs. Paul tells me that Sam gets plenty of attention from me and eats it up so I guess I need to trust him and believe I am not a terrible mother. I know my life is going to be a challenge over the next probably 6 months but I know with God's help and your prayers that my "strong" self will get through it. I am also aware that I am not the only person who has children this close together and that if they can do it, I can too. As well as the fact that nothing stays the same forever and these stages (newborn, approaching terrible twos, pregnancy hormones) will pass before I know it too.
On the pregnancy front, I feel pretty good most days with the exception of being worn out by the afternoon. I still "work out" 4-5 times a week and I have cut back on the amount that I am doing in each workout. I feel A LOT of pressure and that is something new to me this pregnancy. Sam was always very high so Eli is already showing me that he is NOT Sam :) At 36 weeks, I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I believe tomorrow we will find out that I have progressed a little more, I don't see how I couldn't have with all the pressure I have had. My progress at 36 weeks is more than when I was being induced with Sam at 40+ weeks (actually even more then when they gave me medicine to try and help get things going). I plan to go "natural" with Eli like I did with Sam but this time will need antibiotics and so I know they will not have me deliver for 4 hours after arriving at hospital. I was bummed about this at first but now know that it is very common and many women still go "natural" even with the antibiotics. I have still only gained 10 pounds and I hope I can hold onto that number for a few more weeks :) My belly always measures on time or even a little ahead so I know Eli is growing just fine. I will try and post again after my appointment tomorrow.
Here are a few pictures of me and my sweet family.
First 4 were taken by Olivia Reed Photography who always takes wonderful pictures of my family. So lucky to have her as my best friend!
Maternity collage
Sam 18 months
Family Picture
Paul and Sam
36 weeks
35 weeks
34 weeks
33 weeks
32 weeks
31 weeks
30 weeks
29 weeks
28 weeks
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big hugs i remember feeling the same way! it is bc you are so physically exhausted from being so prego. for me, it was much better once #2 was born...yes he had to share my attention, but I had so much more energy and ability to move. it felt great to be able to chase him, pick him up with ease etc etc. Now i will admit that you will be super crazy busy every day, but i think you will feel better. sometimes second time moms only get one dose of the antibiotic bc baby comes so fast...it is ok thoughbevause it is hard to get an inf when they are only there for such a short amt of time. if you want mobility during labor, just ask for a heplock iv. they can run the antibiotics through in a few mins and you can be up and moving around the rest of the time. they will just run a dose every four hours. let me know if you have any more questions, but it shouldn't effect the birth at all :)
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