Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Well it's time for my weekly update, and I am sad to say that next week I will have to come up with some new material because we don't go back to doctor. He did say he would let me come back in two weeks, so I guess that is better than 4 weeks, but still...when you get use to these ultrasounds it's hard to give them up. Ok so here is the update on Tot.

Tot measured 11 weeks 2 days and I am 10 weeks 5 days so that is about 4 days ahead of schedule. We got to hear the heartbeat for the first time and it was AWESOME. The heartrate on the doppler was 165 and on the ultrasound was 174 I believe. I have always thought we were having a boy (since week 6), but these heartrates don't indicate that. My friend, Mary Louis, thinks it's a girl, but everyone else is set on boy. I will say we will be happy either way, but ML don't think you are right just yet, our friend Olivia's son had a heartrate of 182 at 10 weeks. We got to do an ultrasound to monitor the blood and the blood is almost gone, my guess is maybe 5% but I doubt even that much. The Dr. Hudson (my OB) called it "puny" We cannot praise God enough for the miracle. I mean maybe God was just helping me out and told me I didn't need to do shots in my stomach for 9 months twice a day so that was His way of making it stop, either way, I want to Glorify God in this process. I will also say that going to my regular doctor from my infertility doc was very different. I knew I wouldn't be getting as much one on one attention especially since they don't know me from anyone else, but still I was in shock. The good thing is I do really like my doctor and Paul does as well so that really helps (the doc did remember me).

With all that being said, I am starting to "accept" that I am pregnant. For the most part, I have been hesitant due to our struggles with infertility. For me, if I didn't believe that I was pregnant and I miscarried then it wouldn't hurt as bad. I know that is total bs but it's the way my mind worked. I will say that over the last few weeks (especially after the bleed) I was very encouraged by my relationship with God. For the first time in a long time, I really dove into God's Word and really read it to understand it. I was amazed and how it spoke to me. I have always felt that either God wasn't talking to me or I just wasn't listening, but over the last month, I know God has spoken. I am so encouraged by this relationship, that I don't want to slip again and become lax with my devotional time. Anyhow, I wanted to tell you all that as an encouragement for the Word and how it is still current (as my friend stated to me the other day), so if you are struggling know that although we don't understand God, He does always have something to say to help us through it.

Thank you all again for your prayers, we really appreciate it.